When you suspect that someone in your life is struggling with an eating disorder such as anorexia, it's only natural to want to help. It's important, however, for you to offer help in the right way. Even those who are well-intentioned can take an incorrect approach to offering assistance to someone battling anorexia, which could actually cause the person to spiral deeper into despair. You need to be careful to avoid saying certain statements that may seem innocuous enough, but could be deeply hurtful to the person. Here are some things that you shouldn't say.
"You Need To Eat More"
Someone who is battling anorexia is consuming a diet that is dangerously low in calories. As such, it's natural for you to want to feed the person a hearty meal — you might even think of the colloquial term "fatten you up." You have to remember that the anorexic individual is consuming as few calories as possible to maintain a low body weight and that the thought of eating more will likely upset him or her. Even if the person knows at some level that he or she is unhealthy, he or she is unlikely to suddenly start eating more food without first getting counseling.
"You Don't Look Healthy"
While it may be true, in your estimation, that the anorexic person doesn't look healthy, he or she may not share your opinion. One of the challenges with eating disorders is that, as a mental illness, sufferers develop a distorted view of themselves. Someone who weighs 85 pounds may actually think that he or she is a little too heavy and wants to continue to lose weight. You telling the person that he or she doesn't look healthy is likely to hurt his or her already shaky self-image, which can definitely do further harm to this person's overall health.
"You Have No Reason To Treat Yourself This Way"
You may be so frustrated that the person is harming his or her health because of this eating disorder that you imply the person doesn't have a good reason to act in this manner. What you don't know, however, is that many people develop eating disorders such as anorexia for many troubling reasons.
For example, someone who has been bullied for years about his or her weight may become anorexic in an effort to lose fat. You suggesting that the person doesn't have a reason to act this way may be deeply hurtful. Instead of offering these comments, it's best to be gentle and see if you can help the person by getting him or her to see an eating disorder counselor.
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